Your circle of single friends

You’ve been single for a long time and have quite a circle of single friends who treasure their single lifestyle. Now they’re giving you grief because you’re getting married. You hear the jokes. You put up with the snickers and snide remarks. How to you manage all this and help them to see that you’re happy to be getting married?

Tricky stuff, to be sure, and sometimes you may even loose a friend or two through this transition. You know that you can’t continue your single lifestyle after you marry, and that’s a wise thing to recognize. You also know that you must keep your mate first, even over your best friend. But how do you manage this?

First, discuss this transition with your friends. Help them understand that your friendship doesn’t have to be threatened by your upcoming marriage. But also let them know that your priorities have and should change—your fiancé comes first from now on. And encourage your friends to affirm your marriage, not fight against it. Ask them to be positive and encouraging to your face—and to others.

Unfortunately, there may be one or two who just don’t get it. They want things to stay the same, even when that’s not the best thing to do. Realize that this reaction may stem from immaturity, ignorance, selfishness or insecurity, and give them space and a little grace for those shortcomings. But be sure you draw a good healthy boundary, and keep your future spouse first.